Sugar, You’ve Got Me Wanting You

It's Easter again. And while Christians eagerly await the resurrection of Jesus, I mournfully dread the resurrection of the sugar-infused demon spawn that will be my daughters after they dive headlong into their candy-filled baskets, purportedly brought to them by a magical bunny that has nothing to do with the aforementioned reborn messiah-figure. While I... Continue Reading →

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The Many Signs of Spring

I get invigorated when Spring arrives every year, and this year is no different. Or I should say it was not different until about five minutes ago when I realized there is a bird that sounds like a car alarm, and his favorite place to sit is apparently in the tree right outside of my... Continue Reading →

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Is This Thing On?

So as I was saying six years ago, isn’t having a kid the best? (That joke was for anyone who followed my blog and has been waiting six years for my next post.) For any newcomers, I had my first child six years ago and I wrote my last post a few weeks before she... Continue Reading →

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Diarrhea Fashion

Typically the entrance into fatherhood does not take people by surprise who are not on Jerry Springer. Occasionally in Hollywood films a man will discover that he unknowingly fathered a son many years before, and happens to be pointing a gun at or holding an axe above this son's head when he finds out the... Continue Reading →

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Making Baby Faces

As I revealed in my time-consuming claymation video over the holidays, my wife and I are pregnant. In fact at this point we are extremely pregnant; 32 weeks to be exact. For anyone who wants to learn more about pregnancy there are a several medical websites to access information about gestational age and fetal development.... Continue Reading →

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To Save A Mockingbird

Life has a funny way of timing things sometimes. Like this afternoon when I was sleeping on the couch after just falling asleep for a much deserved nap, the UPS delivery guy swung open the door, slammed down a package inside my house, and yelled "UPS!" as fast and as loudly as he could. After... Continue Reading →

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So Fast and Super Furious

He Works Hard For the Money The frequency of my posting has significantly decreased since I began working a real job. It is not that I have less Good Ideas to write about, it is just that all of my Good Ideas revolve around how to make babies stop crying. Unfortunately I have been informed... Continue Reading →

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The Progressive Pillow

There are many beliefs about how humans came to exist on this planet. A lot of people believe we evolved from primates, and I can believe this because one of my brothers grows hair everywhere except his forehead. Another large portion of people believe God made the first humans out of clay, which I could also believe because my mid-section feels clay-like when... Continue Reading →

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I have only just recently become self-conscious about my appearance. I believe this is supposed to happen during puberty, but I have not had another voice change or mysterious hair growth as of yet. I have never shied away from attention, but my favorite shirt has dinosaurs on it  because I like dinosaurs, not attention. In other words, clothes... Continue Reading →

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I Am the World

With my newest fundraising venture underway, I am excited to be walking 6 miles to raise money for the March of Dimes. Anyone who knows me is aware that walking 6 miles typically takes me 2-3 weeks, adding the daily totals. Now that I am a neonatal intensive care nurse, my perspective has changed and 6 miles does not... Continue Reading →

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Licensed To Kill Time

"The total population of registered hunters in America today ranges from 23 million to 43.7 million individuals" (Based on annual data provided by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service) I am pleased to announce that I just joined the ranks of the aforementioned group of hunters after purchasing my first hunting license this year. However, I am befuddled by the... Continue Reading →

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Tumble Dry Low

Succesful marriage    With dismal news about the state of our nation's marriages constantly bombarding us from all angles, it relieved me to read an article in Time magazine that had a positive outlook on marriage. The article attempted to disprove marriage related rumors, such as one I've heard (and probably spouted as "fact") several times, which is that more than 50%... Continue Reading →

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My Cat’s Breath Smells Like Newman’s Own

Animal Instincts (and a lot of 80's references for some reason...)    There are few things I enjoy watching on television more than shows about animals. Not the obnoxious shows like the "Pet Star" with Slater from "Saved by the Bell", but the raw and amazing footage of animals interacting in the wild. This footage, such as the three cheetahs hunting... Continue Reading →

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Everybody Sharts: an underdog story

When I shared on social media that I had written a book, I didn't expect that the book would launch from 11,317th to #17 on the Amazon parody best seller list in one day. I knew a lot of people would feel seen. I knew a lot of people would want to read it to... Continue Reading →

The Wisdom of Elves Another Good Idea John G Christmas movie for your possible, but not guaranteed enjoyment! If you've missed the Christmas videos through the years, here they are again! 2010 2011 2012 Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! Love, John G

A Claymation Christmas Surprise! Jill and I have some exciting news, and what better way to share it than by hours of working with smelly clay. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. My New Year's resolution is to post more blogs, so here's to hoping!!

GIJG!, LLC Records

Music is the only truly universal language (besides English, obviously) and can be translated by anyone with the ability to hear, or even feel vibrations. Prior to watching a stunning performance by a professional musician who was in fact completely deaf I would have assumed music could not be experienced by those who can not... Continue Reading →

Olympic Curiosity

With the 2012 Olympic games underway, most of the world will cheer their fellow countrymen on in swimming, gymnastics and the many other summer events. Millions watch in awe as athletes set new world records and seemingly defy perceived human physical limitations with each new event. I watch with more of a sense of wonder, that... Continue Reading →

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