Is This Thing On?

So as I was saying six years ago, isn’t having a kid the best? (That joke was for anyone who followed my blog and has been waiting six years for my next post.) For any newcomers, I had my first child six years ago and I wrote my last post a few weeks before she started walking. It was not for lack of Good Ideas; believe me I have had a ton. Anyone with a kid understands that once a kid walks, it pretty much sucks until they turn 4.

It is good to be back writing, although things have changed a bit, both in the world and with me. Instead of one kid I have two kids. My cat Who Dey died, and I cried so hard and swore I would never own another pet but somehow I have two cats and a fish now. And all the jokes I used to make about being fat, bald and old make me sad because now I am six years fatter, balder and older. In the last six years I got rid of Facebook five times, and then downloaded Instagram which I like better because I can watch short clips of people falling off motorcycles. Although the people who try to “dance” on Instagram remind me of people who have fallen off a motorcycle and developed some sort of sensorimotor cortex injury, and it makes me strangely angry. I need to be careful because that last sentence seemed way too heady and angry, and that was not my style six years ago. Maybe I have become way smarter and angrier.

Another update that might surprise my former blog followers is that I actually joined a sports club! And I go sometimes!  It is not because I like seeing old man balls in the locker room. As a matter of fact, that is one of the big dissatisfiers for me. If I was brave, I would walk up to the old men and ask them why they need to brush their teeth naked in front of the mirror. Maybe they do not know the club gives out free towels. I am still not sure if I am even to the point where I understand why they are brushing their teeth in a sports club locker room. Much less butt naked. I am not being judgmental; I am sure I will understand one day, because it is not just one old man. All the old men are naked and brushing their teeth. A wrinkly rite of passage of sorts. I had not planned for my first blog in six years to talk so much about naked old men, but sometimes it just goes that way.

People might be asking why I decided to come back to blog writing, especially after that last paragraph was so terrible. I figured it was a good time for a distraction. For everyone and I. My writing will not make anyone smarter (unless you googled “sensorimotor cortex injury” earlier like I did), nor is it even that funny. However, it sure beats reading the news or staring at the wall all day. And it definitely beats staring at naked old men. And that is what really counts.