Proof of Conspiracy*

7 Apr

This will be the shortest post I’ve ever written. I just wanted to document that my recent post about golf being a scam attracted some unwanted attention from the golf industry conspirators. This post is my proof, and if I go missing you all will know why… I received this threatening note in the mail today from Golf Magazine, whom I mentioned in my post LAST NIGHT!

I have never had a threat on my life before, but even though I’m scared I will continue to write about the injustices for as long as I am able. They say the pen is mightier than the sword, and I’ve proven today that even a simple blog about golf being a scam can reach the most powerful forces in our society. What separates the biggest catalysts for world change like Gandhi and myself from the people who just talk a big game is the ability to stand up against powerful oppressors when the threat is real (Gandhi= British Empire, Me=whoever runs golf). Whatever these conspirators are planning to throw my way, I know that I will take it with virtue as my only reward. You can quote me on that so some day it can be in history books like Gandhi. If you say my name fast, its sounds a little like Gandhi. Please don’t quote me on that. 

My wife just tried to tell me that our subscription simply ran out, but what are the chances that they went through the millions of magazines to find mine and staple a “last-issue” reminder on it? She rebutted by pointing out the options for renewal written in smaller font at the bottom. I told her that’s just to throw off the police. She thinks I’m an idiot, but then how can she explain this (on page 1 of Golf Magazine)?

If you didn’t see it, look closer at the ball. Obviously they want to bump me off because they thought my last idea was excellent. They can have my idea, but they should know I’m never using their brand again. I do better with MC Lady brand golf balls anyway, and Golf Magazine can quote me on that.

*I don’t know anything about slander or copyright laws, but if this post violates one of those categories, I’m just kidding; I love golf balls.

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