Archive | May, 2011

Scamming the Con

14 May Hero John G

Life gives us enough challenges without the scam artist, shyster, and con people. The picture I had of these people growing up was a tall, skinny man with a pencil thin mustache and slicked-back hair.

Obviously Prince is a musical artist and not a con artist, however it would be ironic if Prince were a con artist before his musical career took off (ie before he changed his name a bunch of times.) Then he would be known as “The former con artist now known as the artist formerly known as Prince.” Maybe that is why he tried to change his name to a symbol?

Prince is an incredibly talented musician, and truly deserves the title “artist.” However when we refer to con ‘artists’ and scam ‘artists’, we are somewhat glorifying a detestable breed of human scumbags. These people are self-serving, sociopathic parasites that steal from decent, trustworthy human beings.

I personally blame Paul Newman and Robert Redford. They were so good in the movie “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” that even though they were robbing banks and stealing innocent people’s money, viewers cheered them on along the way.

Two good looking men, one great looking mustache

“The Sting,” also featuring Newman and Redford, glorified the image of con men by justifying their actions based on the fact that they were stealing from a crime boss. It paints an incorrect picture of a typical scammer.

Contrary to the title, this movie does not feature any songs by Sting or the Police

“The Sting” also gave the world its classic theme song, “The Entertainer,” by Scott Joplin. When people talk about their “favorite songs to run to,” this is the only song that comes to mind for me. Probably because it is the only song I consistently run to, and it is to get ice cream. I run from fires and to ice cream trucks, that is all. I digress…

The reality is that Paul Newman was a selfless and inspirational philanthropist who loved salad dressing. Real scammers sit in their basements sending out emails to unsuspecting innocent people, and a lot of them live in countries other than the United States.

My first experience with a true blue scammer (i.e. not some ridiculously over-aggressive sales woman at Chico’s (long story)) was when I offered to put my brother’s hot tub up for sale on Craig’s list. The day after I posted the ad, I was very excited to see 5 emails regarding the hot tub.

Alas, upon reading the emails I knew they were scam attempts. I was previously unaware of the prevalence of this  internet scamming problem, and I was truly taken aback at how easily people will take advantage of the innocent.

Taken aback is not an accurate description; I was pissed! In fact, I would like 5 minutes in the Octagon with every one of these people (but not in a row, because after 1 or 2, I would end up getting my face smashed in due to poor conditioning…)

Since I will never meet these people, and even if I did I do not even know where to find the closest Octagon, the only sense of justice I could obtain was by playing them at their own game; scamming the con.

The following is a video representation depicting real email conversations I had with Craigslist scammers to fight back for anyone who has ever been preyed upon by these worthless individuals. Enjoy some Good Idea justice!

For anyone unable to view the video on this site, I uploaded it to You Tube. Click here!

General Tso Tstylish

11 May DSC_1304

During the dawn of my Good Idea site I was inspired by a local artist to create a wallet out of an uncommon medium, an airline safety manual. Since then I have made several wallets and even a purse for what I referred to as my Exit Door Couture fashion accessory line.

Here are some of my stylish accessories:

Includes a Tri-Fold pocket, Velcro, and illustrated instructions on how far down between your knees that your head needs to be when the plane smashes into the ground to come out unharmed

This is no Coach purse... This is a First Class purse!

I realized as more people brought me airline safety manuals to make them a purse or wallet that 1. I should be selling these, and 2. if I sold these I would go to jail for stealing federal property. I quickly decided to retire the Exit Door Couture line.

A few months ago I was paying my bill at a Chinese food restaurant when I had a revelation. What is one thing that is as colorful as an airline safety manual, as familiar to everyone as an airline safety manual, and also happens to be completely free to take as many as I want without going to jail?

General Tso Tstylish:

John G’s Spring Line of Chinese Food Menu Accessories

Fashion is about to get Kung Pow'd!

 Using the free chinese food menus and magnets from my favorite restaurant, my new line of accessories hit the shelves today! (And by the shelves, I mean my living room table).

Here are the pieces from the runway show that I just did for my wife…

The Basic Wallet: Front

This wallet is an homage to my first creation, although it smells more like sesame seed oil for some reason.

The Basic Wallet: The Back

 True story: I lost my wallet at the library and the librarian called me and said the guy who turned it in said, ”I don’t know what this is, but it was on the floor.”

Hunan Hipster Glasses

 Need to hold your glasses to your head? Why not use a chinese food menu?

From afar this bracelet looks elegant and stylish, from up close it looks like Moo Shu Pork and Sesame Chicken

 I wanted to add the chopsticks to make it look like the model was eating at a nice sushi bar somewhere (because First Wok does not give out chopsticks).

The woman working the counter when I took a large stack of menus gave me this beautiful calendar and thanked me. She must have thought I was handing the menus out to people, but I was actually planning on using them all myself.  So instead of feeling guilty, I made a purse out of the calendar.

This clutch even has a special compartment to store left over fried rice! (It doesn't, but that would be incredible!)

This is the inside of the purse. Although no special fried rice pocket, it has plenty of space for whatever it is that girls keep in their purses...

This is the magnet clip-on tie. It is pretty cool

 The white shirt I chose for the picture takes away from the cool-factor of the tie. It also was still slightly damp from dancing at the wedding I wore it to on Saturday night.

 I would personally like to send a big sank you to all the folks at First Wok, and all the great chinese food establishments around the United States that keep us full for brief periods of time, but give us big enough portions to eat at least every hour for 2 days straight.
I would also like to point out that I respect the ability of every chinese food delivery service to bring my food to me so hot that I actually have to wait for it to cool off a little before I eat it (unlike every other delivery service who delivers luke-warm food so regularly that when my pizza is actually delivered hot, I get overly excited like I won a special award).
If chinese food restaurants begin charging for menus, I will gladly take the blame. Until then I will continue creating these General Tso Tstylish accessories by request. And every time I make one I have to go eat at First Wok because I have stared at it all day.
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